


and i’ll do it all again for you

by orphan_account



Category: All American (TV)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode Tag, F/M, Feelings Realization, Forbidden Love, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Love Confessions, Missing Scene, Mutual Pining, Season/Series 03, Speculation, Spelivia, Summer Vacation, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-13 22:35:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28910949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Spencer’s lost a lot in his life: from his father, to losing the sense of home he found in his short lived time at Beverly, but never in a million years would he think that he would ever lose Olivia and their friendship.—a delve inside spencer and olivia’s emotions as they try to process the guilt of their secret and struggle to repair their friendship. (spoilers for season 3 episode 1 are included)
Relationships: Asher Adams/Olivia Baker, Olivia Baker & Spencer James, Olivia Baker/Spencer James
Comments: 11
Kudos: 23





	and i’ll do it all again for you

**Author's Note:**

> although it’s just fandom speculation about spelivia’s summer secret of them hooking up, there’s clearly evidence that supports this lol. i’m here for all of the angst and mutual pining. i love it so i decided to write this to get out all of my spelivia feelings. it’s mostly a few scenes that were included in the first episode along with my own insertion of angst.

His jaw clenched abhorrently in recoil, his hand curled inwardly into a tight fist as his eyes narrowed and face twisted up in a sneering scowl. He feels his nostrils flare mimicking the residual anger that seethed deeply within him. 

He doesn’t have the right to be jealous. He shouldn’t be––they weren’t together and she was free to do whatever she wanted with whoever she wanted.

But having to watch Olivia and Asher giggling and whispering coquettish sweet nothing’s into each other’s ears and acting all lovey dovey was making Spencer feel physically sick to his stomach. Especially considering the fact that she’s been blatantly ignoring him all night, not even bothering to acknowledge his presence or even throw a glance his way. 

Spencer would be lying if he said that Olivia’s ignoring him didn’t hurt. 

They went from being inseparable best friends that confided and consoled to each other about everything, being each other’s safe haven away from the everyday chaos that they faced to barely uttering two words to each other.

It hurt knowing that their relationship was no longer what it used to be. He missed the late night conversations on the couch whenever they were having trouble sleeping, he missed the inside jokes that they shared, he missed the sense of tranquility and home he felt whenever he was around her.

There was always this light that followed Olivia, the sense of it and her alone was enough to make his bad days instantaneously better. 

Most importantly, he missed _her_. Being around her, talking, touching, confiding in her. Since the day that they first met Olivia had always been Spencer’s person––the person that he told everything to and felt most himself around.

Everything them was easier back then. There wasn’t any weird tension lingering between them or unsettled issues that still resided amongst them unlike now where the tension between them was so thick and uncomfortable that it made everyone else around them feel equally as unsettled and perturbed by their aloof behavior and demeanor towards each other. 

They hadn’t talked since that night. They exchanged a few words in passing, mostly when other people were around but even then the communication between them seemed to cease to exist. 

He tried giving her space in hopes that time apart would give both of them enough time to figure out their emotions and feelings. But Spencer’s time of giving her space proceeded way past its limit and had drawn from the summer into the school year.   
  
Jordan had informed him of Olivia’s Black Student Caucus project that she was working on and invited him to come along to help. He immediately and gladly accepted the invitation in hopes that it would give them a chance to speak about what happened. 

But just like she did over the summer, Olivia spent the duration of the time completely avoiding him. He managed to finally talk to her when he spotted her seated on the steps in the main hallway of the school. 

She looked startled, aghast by his presence when she looked up and saw him approaching. Her facial expression looked uneasy. He attempted to ease the tension by giving her a small, amicable smile in greeting.   
  
It seemed to help ease the rigid tension between them, but Olivia’s demeanor remained the same; apprehensive and wary. She barely made eye contact with him during their conversation and her responses to his questions were abrupt almost as if she was purposefully trying to limit their talking time. 

Spencer felt ultimately defeated, confused and hurt. When she said that they needed to give each other space again, he tried to be understanding because he knew that she was still struggling with what happened between him.

Hell, he was too. Everything was just so confusing and twisted that he didn’t know what to do or say––what he did know is that he missed his best friend and would do anything to go back to the way they were. 

He felt his heart break at the sight of Olivia running up to Asher and embrace him into a hug when he surprisingly returns home for the summer. He stood there watching Asher hold and touch Olivia in ways that he wasn’t allowed to anymore. 

Spencer walked away, unable to face to pain of seeing them together.   
  
He’s unfortunately bombarded by Asher and Olivia again later on the next day. He dropped by the Baker household in search of Jordan who he wanted to accompany to JJ’s half birthday party celebration. Instead of Jordan coming down the stairs, it was Olivia who’s clothes were messily tousled and askew. 

She looked surprised to see him standing there. They talked for a bit before the sound of another pair of footsteps descending down the stairs captures Spencer’s attention. It’s Asher and just like Olivia, his clothes were tousled and a few buttons of his shirt were undone. 

It didn’t take long for Spencer to asses what had just occurred between them upstairs. 

Olivia noticed and gives him a somber kinda apologetic look. When he informs them that he was about to leave, Olivia follows him to the door and corners him. She asked if he was okay, attempting to ease her way into a casual conversation like everything was okay. Like they were okay. 

With the pain still fresh and lingering from her avoiding and of her recent reconnection with Asher, Spencer rebuttals with a sarcastic comment, tossing the “giving each other space” line back into her face just as she did to him the day prior. 

He was bombarded by Layla who approached him outside of the restaurant. The awkwardness between them was unsettled too and still unresolved. She began to talk about how she wanted to reconcile, but didn’t know how he felt about it. He assures her that his feelings for her were mutually reciprocated and he kisses her, deeply, with emotion––trying to forget about _her_ but ultimately failing. 

As he stood outside kissing Layla it was like he could still taste Olivia’s lips on his, he could still feel the softness of her mouth brushing against his as they kissed each other in her bedroom that night. His mind wanders and flashes of that night begin to fill his brain; their slick bodies pressed tightly against each other’s, his hands holding onto her as her slender legs wrapped around his waist and her arms around his neck. 

All he could think about in that moment while he was kissing Layla was Olivia. He felt so shitty and guilty about it especially when they pull apart from the kiss and Layla smiled adoringly at him. 

Spencer thinks that maybe him getting back together with Layla would be the start of him possibly working to get over Olivia. She’s made it perfectly clear that what happened between them was a mistake and that she wanted nothing more to do with him.

So maybe he should reciprocated that same attitude towards her. 

That plan is immediately lost in translation and thrown out of the window later on that night. They were at the Baker household which Laura invited them over for family dinner. The dinner consisted mostly of stolen glances and pining looks exchanged between the two of them.   
  
When he’s in the kitchen informing Billy of his momentarily relapse of his shoulder pain, Olivia walked in moments later expressing her proudness of him for being truthful to her father. 

She surprises him when she walks over, her arms spread wide and inviting as she wraps them around his neck and pulls him into a hug.

Spencer immediately _melts_ into the embrace, his eyes close softly as he runs his hands from her waist up to her back in a fluid motion. She’s pressed against him; her chest flushed up against his while his face nestled in her neck as he breathes in the familiarizing scent of her.

He pulls her closer; ravishing in the missed feeling of touching her, of that sense of home that only she could provide.

It feels so good to be touching her after so long––after weeks of her avoiding and ignoring him. He wants to stay like this forever, wrapped up in her arms and holding her against him.

Her cheek is squished against his and he could feel the coolness of her breath wisping in his face as she breathed softly.   
  
Spencer wonders if Olivia missed this too because he feels her body soften against him as she settles into the hug. 

She’s slowly untangling her arms from around him, giving him a sad look when she peers up into his eyes. 

She’s pulling away from him and eventually begins to walk away to head back into the kitchen but he interjects her pathway, grabbing gently onto her forearm as he pulls her back to him. 

He couldn’t do this any longer. He couldn’t pretend like nothing didn’t happen between them. Like that night wasn’t the best night of his life. 

“We really aren’t going to talk about what happened?” He asked her in disbelief.

He was so tired of the back and forth, of her pulling away from him. He just wanted his Liv back. 

She sighed softly in defeat as she shook her head. She shrugged a shoulder and wearily tossed her hands in the air. “What do you want me to say, Spencer?” She asked, her eyes mimicking a forlorn look in them. 

She looked equally as pained as he did by this whole situation, like the guilt of their infidelity was eating away at her too. 

“I want you to say something–– _anything_ instead of ignoring me like you’ve been doing these past few weeks.”   
  
She pursed her lips in a thin line as she closed her eyes. When she opens them, she sees the heartbroken look of defeat marring Spencer’s face and she wanted nothing other than to take it all away and go past this awkwardness that’s between them.

But that was easier said than done. 

The guilt that she was feeling was too fresh and raw for her to just resume their friendship back to the way it was. It was hard looking at him and not thinking about what they did. Every time she walked in her room and stared at her bed all she saw was memories of them being entangled underneath her sheets. 

“I can’t–” She paused, sighing softly again as she diverts her face down onto the floor. It was too painful looking into his eyes when he was staring at her like _that_. “I don’t know if we can go back to the way we used to be, Spencer. Layla and Asher are both back now and I think that we should try to make it work with them. It’s easier that way for everyone.” She declares before walking off and departing from the room before Spencer could even get a chance to respond. 

All that occurred a few days ago and like she suggested, she appeared to be ‘trying to make things work’ with Asher. They’ve been spending more time together, trying to make up for the lost time during the summer. The sight of their happiness made Spencer angry and bitter.   
  
Spencer tried to be reasonable and tame his anger. Olivia wasn’t his girlfriend so he didn’t really have any grounds to be jealous of her flirting with her boyfriend but yet here he was: jealous and scowling dirty looks at Asher. 

He’s never felt this way about any of his old girlfriends. He didn’t even question Layla when she called him one day before one of Coop’s shows and there was a male’s voice in the background. That didn’t make him upset whatsoever but Asher sneakily running his hands up Olivia’s thighs was making Spencer’s anger accrue minutely. 

“Order for table six is ready, Spencer.” The sound of his boss’ voice retracts him from his deep reverie. 

He grabs the tray full of food and walks over to the table to give the customers their food. Unfortunately for him table six was where Asher and Olivia where seated. They were too deeply engrossed in their conversation to notice his presence at first.

It wasn’t until he slid their plate of food in front of them that they finally acknowledged him standing there. Olivia met his eyes briefly before diverting her gaze elsewhere.  
  
Meanwhile, Asher greeted him with a curt head nod.

“‘Sup Spence?” He asked before picking up a french fry and popping it into his mouth. 

Spencer trying to maintain his composure and not allow his current feelings of anger overpower him, relented in displaying his abhorrence as he placate a casual facade. 

“Nothing, just working. What’s up with you guys?” He questions, directing the question at Asher but sneaking a glance over at Olivia who’s head remained hanging lowly, still avoiding his gaze. 

Asher leans backward in his chair and tosses his arm around Olivia’s shoulder. “We’re just making up for all the lost time for when I was away over the summer. I was actually thinking since school’s starting up next week, we should have one last summer party you know to celebrate us going into senior year.” 

“Yeah, that sounds cool man.” He says albeit without any truthful mirth or interest. The last thing he wanted to do was attend a party, let alone a party to celebrate the end of their summer as they’re about to transition back into the school year.

It was just a somber reminder that he would no longer be at Beverly with his friends. He wouldn’t be able to see Olivia in the halls in between classes or eat lunch with her or see her in the stands cheering him on at his football games like she used to. 

Everything was different. They were different and Spencer didn’t like it at all. 

“Cool.” Asher responds, with an impish smirk. “It’s on Friday we’re having it down at the beach around 7.” He informed in explanation of the details, but Spencer occulted Asher’s words, absentmindedly tuning him out.

Of course he wasn’t paying attention to anything but Olivia. And she was paying attention to anything except for him. 

He finishes his conversation up with Asher as he needed to return back to work. From his peripheral vision as he was standing at the counter attending to a customer, he sees that Asher and Olivia are standing to leave. 

Spencer hurriedly finished up with the customer and ran out the door of the restaurant, chasing after Olivia. The sound of him calling out her name causes her to pause. Asher narrowed a look of suspicions between the two of them, when he notices the change in Olivia’s demeanor. 

“Liv?”   
  
She walked up to Asher, reaching for his hand and intertwined their fingers. “Let’s just go.” She says, pulling him forward as they walked to his car.

She didn’t even bother to turn around to look at Spencer. She just continued to walk until their figures disappeared in the distance and they were no longer in sight. He stands there completely dumbfounded, confused, hurt and overall heartbroken.   
  
Was this how it was really going to be between them now? Awkwardness and avoiding each other in hopes that with passing time the guilt would go away?

Spencer’s lost a lot in his life: from his father, to losing the sense of home he found in his short lived time at Beverly, but never in a million years would he think that he would ever lose Olivia and their friendship. 

That night with Olivia had been one of the most special and amazing nights of his life––but he’d take it all back in an instant if that meant that they could go back to the way things were. 

“Spencer, you’ve got another table.” He hears his boss say, pulling him away from his sadden thoughts and back into his current reality again.

He sighs deeply as he stares off at the emptiness of where Olivia was previously standing, shaking his head somberly before entering back inside of the restaurant to finish his shift. 

**Author's Note:**

> fin. 
> 
> i skimmed through this but i might’ve missed something so there’s a high possibility of spelling errors in this that i’ll fix later. but i’m thinking of making this two chapters...should i?


End file.
